solitary life / companion / day-dream painting / awake-dream / sleep-dream / near beyond control / aimed in powerful purposeful direction / awake-dreams could be focused / with care / not easy / much time to arrive at half-satisfactory image / uncertain element in each decision / awake-dreams made of feeling / controllable as they appear yet appearance near beyond control / beauty make dream / not one thing / spectrum of emotional beauty / thus / time taken up in trying to feel feelings desired to feel / often feelings rarely if ever felt in real circumstances / life has been rich / full of happiness / interminable struggle old age has forced him to rely more and more on this here painting / thus great skill / ever pressed by the need for more satisfaction